A Scent

He has this very distinct scent. Not cologne.. Might be the detergent he uses for his laundry. Hah.. I love that scent. Smells so familiar yet so distant and new.

Found this buried in a blog I uesd to keep..

SV was wearing a certain designer men's cologne which brought back fond memories of a certain suburban street in Santa Clara.. I told him I liked the scent he was wearing very much and he knew immediately what I was talking about and warned me about the dangers of living in the past.. (coz' I've mentioned it before awhile back.HAha..) Yes.. I always like taking frequent trips back to my younger glory days and it doesn't do me any good most of the time. But this time it was different. It's amazing how a certain scent can sing you familiar songs, bring you back to a certain apple tree or lie you down on comfy cotton sheets with the pleasant unfamiliar morning sun on your face. Yup.. all that..This time it's different because I have never looked at this in the way I'm looking at it now.. And it set off an odd feeling in my little time capsule. Then it suddenly dawned upon me .. I realized that some memories are meant to be kept safe and untainted. And sometimes you just have to throw away all the unhappy stuff because theres just not enough space for them. Yup.. some things are meant to be kept close to the heart.. unchanged and left the way it is...Even if it's only a memory and you know that it'll never happen again.. even if you have a choice to relive it. I talk about reliving the past at times but this time..this memory of the perfect Californian sun.. with a certain KL boy should be left the way it is.. For it was just perfect. For the first time I'm able to only look at the beautiful things in a past relationship and not bury myself in the unpleasant and clogging my mind with the things I should have done. I thank you for all the times we've shared and all the things you've done for me. The only regret I have is that I didn't give you as much as I could have. I only wish I could have given you more. Wherever you are now I hope you're extremely happy. I'm so sorry for all the bad times we've had. But I'm also so very thankful for all the exceptionally good days we've shared. You're such a good person, good friend. I know we have separate lives now and I'm very happy where I am now. I hope you're happy too..


Funny how just a simple scent can trigger such nostalgia .. ??

Just finished work. Went to KLCC but there were too many poeple. Couldn't find the song I want. So I'm downloading LimeWire. Shh.... Hah..
Tired but restless.. make any sense?
I miss home.
Don't want to go to Johor. Have to visit Eileen.. Hope she's alright..
He still bothers me.. Thinking of him bothers me.. I know I shouldn't.....
I need to get my songs ready by June.. Impossible.
Don't want to leave my 'alternate realiti' Gonna miss them.
Is there a reason why I'm always living in the past?
Can't get my camera fixed.. was told we can't get the German parts in Malaysia..
Why am I so drawn to certain people? Certain places
Certain things?

Vision of you.....

It's 14:02 not and am back at Badtz's place having a bowl of oats.. Not as bad as it sounds. It actually tastes quite good. (: Finished one scene this morning going back for another one at 5.

Heres a little piece of me.. of what I'm feeling today...

Time moves a summer wind

I can see your face again

Was it such a tragedy

Being you ... Being me ?

Smoke clears, the picture fades

but I stood back in yesterday

All the strangers come and go

All of them will never know ...

Nobody's touch feels like your touch

Nobody gets to me that much

Nobody's kiss moves me inside

And I have no place left to hide

Tell me what can I do ?

I have a vision of you

Tell me what can I do

With this vision of you

Did I walk ? Did you run ?

What's the way to love someone ?

Oh my Darling did we know

What it meant when we let go

How can a candle ever burn so bright ?

Casting a shadow on my life

I am blinded by your light

Even without you

Do you believe in past lives?

New Song

It’s Been a Long Day


What’s new…
I don’t mean to bother but it really doesn’t matter
I’m being stupid
Hey you…
Looking at your coffee like General Gaddaffi
Got up and brewed it
Relax…and give it some time
Lay back and let the clouds unwind
It’s been a long day so let’s say we…

Sing to the sky and the rain out the window
Laugh at the breeze and the thought of tomorrow
Dance to the beat of your dreams and I’ll follow
Come out and play… it’s been a long day

Chill out…
Take in the weather and hope it gets better
But really now, who cares
Spill out…
The want for perfection, the caffeine addiction
The going too fast
Come down, it gets lonely at the top
Come round take a pause and stop
It’s been a long day so let’s say we…


Something seems amiss it’s like there’s far too many hours in a day….
While next to me is an optimist reminding me that everything’s ok…
But I don’t really care if it’s half empty or half full
Don’t give me bull, why must I think it
If it’s water I’ll just drink it

-D.L-

The Talk

Had one of those talks with a friend/co-worker who quite naturally became a confidant by the time the conversation ended. I had to talk to someone. I always have to. God, I hope he doesn't breathe a word about it. It would be too embarrassing to bear.

I keep telling myself it'll all be over soon. I'll get over it. Like what Mr. Darcy said, "I shall conquer this. I shall." No wait a sec... He said it but he didn't actually succeed.. Damn.. Bad example..

Finally saw Gol & Gincu. Am so pleasantly surprised by how entertaining it was. Hah.. I really enjoyed it. Props to the makers and the actors. (: Too bad it didn't do well though.. At least thats what I heard.

Finished an entire bar of Royce' Aroma 80% Cocoa by myself. How gorgeously sinful it felt to indulge. Hah..

Fearless?

I'm a very lucky person. A lot of people would rob, steal and kill to have my life. I have a wonderful family, the most loyal and responsible boyfriend any girl could ask for, faithful, wonderful new and old friends, I have 10 fingers and ten toes, close to perfect eyesight and a wonderful childhood. What more could I ask for? What right do I have to ask for more? Yet I'm not happy... I say I am.. I have no reason not to be but yes.. I'm unhappy. Why? I really don't know.. Thats why I'm here to find out.

Pain has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.
It has no future but itself,
Its infinite realms contain
Its past, enlightened to perceive
New periods of pain.

-E.D-